The one who wants to wear the crown must bear its weight.
It didn’t matter how high I could get in the cities of this world, what clouds I could roam. All I ever wanted was to be at the top of God’s world. Whatever seems foolish to man, as long as it could be pleasing to God, I was okay. I wanted nothing more than to be at the peak of God’s world, with all whom I hold dearly in my heart. And that was enough for me. The crown that I was willing to bear at all cost, was the crown of life. As Christ has given me life, I wanted nothing more than to be in God’s handcrafted world. The world that Christ has carved out for me, with the people I hold dear. I was ready to bear the weight of this crown at all cost.
It did not matter what richness the world could give me. I am nothing but a steward of possessions. All I wanted was to give my life, serving the people of God. Giving my love, and my best to all the people around me. Just as how God send His only son to the world, to bear the weight of my sin. For someone as undeserving as me. He bore the crown of thorns for my sins so that I do not need to bear the weight that was too heavy for me. He took it all away. That alone could satisfy my heart. Loving people around me, and giving my best to the ones who had been there, and to the many others who need God.
The sudden realization of how fast time is running out, and every single day just gets shorter. The times that I ran after worldly possession, looking for acceptance in friendships, wanting to be someone who was not in God’s plans, wanting to bear the weight of the crown that was not for me. The weight that eventually got too heavy, and suffocated me for the longest time when I was growing up. Yet not knowing that the crown was not for me to bear. That at the calvary, Jesus had bore that crown for my sake. And in all my wanderings, Jesus, You came and rescued me.
As I was walking alone on the beach with my Lord
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life
For each scene, I notices two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.
After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that many times along the path of my life,
at the lowest and saddest time,
there was only a set of footprint.
This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.
” Lord, You said once I decided to follow You,
You would walked with me all the way.
But I noticed that during my saddest and most troubled times,
there was only one set of footprints.”
I don’t understand why,
when I needed You the most,
You would leave me.
He whispered, ” My Precious Child,
I love you and will never leave you.
Never ever during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one footprint,
It was then that I carried you.”
The weight of the crown He bore for my sake, was more than what my heart could ever comprehend. Out of His hands, into my heart. He gave me the world, and helped me saw life beyond my death. I have longed stop searching and looking for worldly possessions, and saw what the world could give me. I turned my eyes on to Christ, and all the calvary, He said I was enough, I was worth His love. The crown I wore in the past, was of glory and fame of the world. Yet, the crown I choose to bear now, was the crown of life.
The weight of this crown would somehow get heavier as I grown older. Yet, it is a crown that I would not trade for anything in this world. The crown of life symbolizes love, devotion and sacrifice. Of which, when I had nothing to offer, God gave it all to me. Now, when I am old enough, when God has placed this possessions back into my hands, I will lay it back at this altar of God, Christ Jesus. Placing my all, my life to serve the people whom I hold dearly.
As I was lost, people came and loved me. When I was jaded and broken, someone took the time to pieced me back with the love of God. And this is something I will always remain thankful for. The crown of life that was given to me, I will always safeguard it, to remember to bless, to love, and to protect. I don’t want to soar into the sky of this world, but to be in the realm of God’s world, with people I loved. I don’t want the vanity of the this world, the worldly possessions, but the richness and fullness of love from God, and for me to offer so freely to people.
And that’s enough for me.