Love conquers.

1 Corinthians 13:13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

I think that one of the thing I wished that this year could do forth for me is that I could have God’s love manifest out of my life to touched the lives of others. Those seemingly less privilege or grew up from being broken wishing they could be more. Love is but a word till people give it a meaning. Be it romantic love, friendships, family or just between people.

I did not exactly grew up in a really bad environment, but it was not a really good environment. I grew up yearning for love from my parents, thinking that my parents are always too busy for me. My parents were young when they had us, so they spend so much time trying to provide for us. Something that I did not understand when I was a kid.

In school, my thoughts always came in bits and pieces. No one could exactly get me. So I never had friends. I grew up isolated from people, and always drowned in my own thoughts. From that moment onwards, somehow I hated life. I was always bullied at school and eventually wanted to end my life.

Nobody could have given a powerful life changing testimony to show God’s love unless they had been through something that only God can deliver them. And I was somehow glad to have been through all this, so that I could be with my Father, and I could learn to love myself despite all the flaws I had. Knowing that in Him, I was made perfect.

Perfect love was shown to us in John 3:16. That when Christ came, I was set free from my chains and past. I am seemingly blessed enough to have experience, and no lack in my life. My parents loved me to provide for all my needs. I can be who I am in Christ and not be afraid. And I hope to use this love to bless people around me.

Apart from praying that God’s love will manifest out of my life to the people around me, I pray that..

  1. I will be slow to anger and slow to judge. But ready to listen and see from a God’s perspective to love others.
  2. I will set aside time to be less busy, be ready to listen to God’s redeeming grace that has been poured out into people’s life.
  3. I will be able to share God’s love in the ways that I know how. Abiding in His love, and live out 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 to the people around me.

Because love conquers, and all my life I desire to love like Him.

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More Than Weeds

Where man see withered leaves, God sees sweet smelling flowers.

I’m so pleased to announce the official launch of ‘More than weeds’.

The story of how the name ‘More than weeds’ came about was from a Pastor that truly inspires me. Those who know me, will know that I love children. Children plays major role in my life. It is always easy to define children as either ‘good’ or ‘bad’ in the marketplace. Yet sometimes, we missed out the most important key, to understand that there wasn’t really a bad child, only a child who wasn’t fully taught. If given the right environment, even weeds could bloom into the most beautiful flowers.

I am guilty of all being one of those teachers who use to define children as ‘naughty’ and ‘bad’. Yet over the time I realize, sometimes I am too quick to judge, but too slow to listen to the needs of this children. I read a book called, ‘whose child is this?’ during the time of my ministry. It changes my perspective of loving this children.

‘Whose child is this?’ talks about Pastor Bill Wilson story. He was abandoned at birth and while growing up, he was filled with insecurities. Yet it took only one Christian man to pay for his camp that his life was never the same again. He currently lives in the inner city of Brooklyn and feed thousands of kids. Could it be that while the rest saw Pastor Bill Wilson as a withered leave, but that man saw him as a sweet smelling flower?

While working with this flowers, curating bouquets after bouquets of flowers, it just helped me to remember that perhaps, this were flowers that people once thought it was weeds, and they could have just destroy it. Yet, someone took the effort to slowly nurture this flowers till it bloom. No children are bad children from birth, if we took the time to invest and nurture them, they might be the leader of this generation.

‘More than Weeds’ aims to donate part of the sales of every bouquet of flowers to the children in Brooklyn, for the kids in the inner city. For every bouquets of flowers bought from us, you will actually be feeding the children, or putting them in school. And in light that Chinese New Year is approaching, and valentine day is during this period, we will be using the proceeds from every bouquets sold to buy groceries for the people in our community who are less fortunate, or are under privilege to be a blessing to our community.

One can make a difference, and you can make the difference. So while thinking of loving your other half, remember that you can be a blessing to the less privilege around your community as well.

He qualifies the call. (Exodus)

One thing I am assured and thankful for is that, ” God don’t call the qualify, He qualifies the call.”

So while growing up, and still being a young Christian, I was filled with so much insecurities in my life. I always have negative thoughts about myself. The thoughts that usually fill me up was, “ Am I good enough?”, “Am I worthy enough?” and even “Did God really choose me?”. These thoughts eventually drowns me and became the stumbling block to my growth in the ministry.

Only God and my leader knows how many times over the past year, I have been saying the exact words, “I am scared”, ” I don’t want to do it” and “let me be invisible” whenever I was asked to do something out of my comfort zone. How many times it was easier to just run away, hide myself in the midst of the crowd, throw in the towel and simply ignore everything. It’s always easier to put the words in my mouth to say that I want to stand in that gap, and I want to do something great for God than actually doing it. 1 John 4:18 There is no fear in perfect love. But perfect love drives out fear. And I no longer want to fear anymore but trust in that perfect love. And only in His words that we are deeply rooted in this love. And the story of Moses is the perfect example of God qualifying the call.

When the Lord called Moses and appeared as fire in the bushes, and told Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, and be a leader to His people, Moses doubted himself. (Exodus 3:11, 4:10-11). Moses first doubted his identity in Christ and afterwards doubted His own ability. Yet, God promised to be with Him. God promised to walk with Moses to the promised land. God could have chosen Aaron who was more eloquent, yet He chose Moses. And from this, we can begin to know that God is the one who qualifies the call. If God has called us into the ministry, no matter what we think about ourselves shouldn’t have mattered, because only One matters.

In the later part of Exodus, Moses begin to rise up, and understood the principle of a willing heart, and full trust in God. Moses started to be who He was in Christ, established his identity in God with his willingness, and trusted God to use him even though he felt that he was not good enough. After that, we all know that God uses Moses to perform many signs and wonders as well as great miracles like parting of the red sea. God was with Moses through it all. God is never looking for a perfect vessel. He was looking for only one thing. The words that could bring us into the ministry and perform the same miracles for Him.

He is looking for a broken, yielded vessel with a willing heart to say,
” Here I am, Lord. Use me.”

This make me feel assured that I never have to be good enough, be a number one for God to use me. God can use me. Even though I am broken, jaded and hurt in so many ways, Jesus can still use me. He looks at my heart. And here is my heart, one that never stops beating Jesus. He qualifies the call. He can use an ordinary me, to serve an extraordinary God. 1 Corinthians 1:27 But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty.

Many times, when I was growing up, so many people has put doubts in my heart, telling me I am not good enough. And this words that were spoken too many times have led me to believe it. And slowly by slowly, I was drained off by my emotions of worthlessness. I started to grow and be afraid of stepping out. What if I fail again? I had given up on life three times, given up on myself and was flawed in many ways. I gave up on trying, and live in that resentment. So many people have walked out of my life when I failed, or was not at my best. And such thoughts do haunt me as it still does.

But this few weeks have made me realize that its time to believe in myself. That I could believe in the dreams and visions God has placed in my heart, to be a leader and serve the kids. That at the altar, I once saw myself preaching to a group of kids with emotional needs, and through my experiences, and testimony, many of them encountered God in ways I could never comprehend.

And I was affirmed that deep in my heart now, that God has called me. He could use Moses, who felt inferior to the call, but stood up with his willing heart that says, ” Here I am.” and placed people around to support him, then God could use me too. The simple words that my leader sent to me, ” I believe in you” would have taken me further than where I was to bring glory to my King. It spoke more than just words but affirmations that was poured out into supporting my dreams and visions. I am thankful.

I pray Lord, that as I rise up to my call for Your glory, use me. Use me as You can for our kingdom cause. I place my dreams and visions into Your hands, knowing well that it is done in Your name. That You alone could have called me. You qualified the call. You chose me. You saw me. You heard my cries and picked me out from the wilderness. Let my life pour out the sweetest offering into Your hands. That I may be lacking, but I am made perfect in You. Thank You Jesus. Amen.

So, why give? (John 6:8-14)

“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.”
Jim Elliot

The usual questions that I hear a lot more that usual is, “why give? You always overstretch yourself. You are so silly”. Giving always require a part of me and a sacrifice that I was willing to pay the price for. It is not always easy and convenient to give. Perhaps, the reason of giving was not the value it is in, but the heart behind it.

I don’t always have a lot to give. There’s a part of me that need my own introvert time, and the part of me that was willing to stop my own luxury needs so I could give to the people around me, to deliver the love and much needed care and timely concern. To look beyond myself and bless the people around me. 

Perhaps, its the surrounding I grew up with. Having seen and heard too much. That possessions could make us happy, yet all I saw was fights and people going through turmoils of having too much. Its a necessity that we need money, yet not in a way that it could crush our happiness. Jim Elliot does it the best when he laid his life down at the foot of the cross, giving all he had to the people who need God.

The bible story of John 6:8-14 draws the most simplest illustration of what miracles our King could do with our little giving. That, as we surrender our all for the community, God would in turn use it in a bigger way to bless the people around us. Apart from the miracle that Jesus performed, it was the heart of the little boy that our attention should be on. He wanted to give what he had to feed the people, and surely he trusted in God enough to know that Jesus would have taken care of him as well. What he have was limited, but as he offer it up on the altar, he fed the entire community, and filled the heart of people. And through this miracle that many more came to know Christ the King.

He had a heart of wanting to bless the people.

 I saw this sentence on the card that I received on Christmas, ” Every setbacks in life teaches us to appreciate things more, and in turn show forth that sincere appreciation in such simple yet impactful ways.” Perhaps it was not really an easy journey while growing up, but all this taught me to love and appreciate what I have in my hands, and trust Him with what I do not have. That every heart and reason of giving was compelled by the simple fact that I do know what is felt like feeling empty, feeling worthless, and thinking that I had enough with my life. 
That at the age of 21, when I almost gave up on my life, Jesus came and saved me. And knowing that no one should ever feel like they were not enough, inferior and worthless, it compelled my heart to want to give more to the broken society, trusting that God will use what little I have to multiply it and bless the people around me. That His love will continue to manifest out of my life to the people around me.
So, why give even when you are tired or are barely surviving? I do not know as well. But I do know that my society needs Jesus, just like how I need my King. Like the boy with childlike faith of knowing and trusting Our king, I want to do the same too. Giving helps me to see beyond my own needs. Jesus is faithful. Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever.
I pray that as I begin to go through this year, I will remember the faithfulness of my Lord, have that child like faith to believe that God will use a broken and yielded vessel to bring out His love and manifest into the people around me. To bring and deliver out His love to a broken generation. To love is to see the face of God. So Lord, open my eyes by faith, to the wounded, to the hurt, to the needy and let Your love pour out so freely from my life and help me be a blessing to the people You loved and willingly send down Your Son to die for. Let me be patient with the people and expand the capacity in my heart and in my giving. Amen.

Stay faithful. (Matthew 25:14-30)

Parable of the Talents (Matthew 25:14-30)

The story: This was the parables that spoke of a Master entrusting his servant with the talents before he went away. He gave five, two and one to each of the servant respectively. And when he got back, he entrusted the servants who were faithful to the talents they have with greater things. 

It was like how God placed those talents in each and every of His children. And the fact that God has placed this talent in each and everyone of us, meant that God has already know that we have the ability to multiply these talents.

In the story, the first servant took the five talent and multiply it and had ten talents in the end. The master was well pleased that he was faithful to the small things that was given to him and entrusted him with greater things (Matthew 25:19-21). The second servant took the two talents that were entrusted to him, and multiply it and had four talents. The master was well pleased that he was faithful to the small things that was given to him and entrusted him with greater things (Matthew 25:22-23). However, the third servant was afraid to use his talent and hid it. The master was furious with him. And his master took away the talent from him (Matthew 25:24-28).

This parable taught of two simple truths:

(1) Staying faithful to what God has entrusted us with.

Whether it was five, two or one talent, God has placed it in our hands knowing that when we stay faithful in doing what we do, with that little we have, he will entrust us with greater things.

(2) Never be afraid to use your talent. 

As I was reading through this, I realize that the master would not have been as furious if the third servant tried to multiply the talents and failed. He was furious that the servant hid his talent away. God has placed that talent in us and He would be furious if we hide it away instead of using it. God wants us to use our talent to glorify His name.

The Father’s heart was knowing that indeed His child is capable of being faithful to the things that they were entrusted too. And using the talent in us to lift Him higher.

Lord, I pray that as I lift up my thoughts to You, help me to stay faithful to the little things that were entrusted to me, so that it could bring glory to Your name. Help me to not be afraid to use the talents that you place in my hands, but only believe.