How much I missed you.

This is a story of how much I missed you.

Lately, I have been losing sleep. I sat down, beside the windows with a pen and a notebook, scribbling your name on it. It must have been a million time that I have written it. I flipped through the pages and all I saw was your name. It clearly showed to me, how much I must have missed you all this while.

As the night crept in, the thoughts of us being together seems more possible. I thought of you holding my hand, strolling under the moonlight. Or maybe, you carrying a guitar on one hand, holding mine hand in another. And we will stroll down the green pastures. Finding a place that belong to us and we would sit on the picnic mat, with you playing the guitar and singing to the tune of my favorite band.

” To hold you in my arms
To promise you my love
To tell you from my heart
You’re all I’m thinking of “

But just as the sun will always rise, it did. I woke up to the emptiness and my heart was still missing you. Like it always did. And I begin to count down to the days where I will see you again. With the pen and notebook still in my hand, I begin scribbling of things I would say to you the moment we met. Then I thought of all the things we would talk about and how our conversation led on, and maybe, just maybe, you will realize the sparks in my eyes whenever I see you. Maybe, you will realize the unspoken words in my heart, the song I would write to you. And maybe you will realize, all along, I have been waiting for you. Waiting for you to realize how much I have missed loving you.

” When I wrote a poem for you, you didn’t read it. It meant nothing to you but but it meant everything to me. Because those words were my words, and the meaning was my meaning, and the way I loved you was the only way that I knew how to be brave.”

But I knew it will never happen. She was all your eyes could ever see. When I saw the longing you have for her, I knew. I knew all I could do was missing you and begin counting to the next time I will see you. This is a story, a story of how much I missed you. A story, I wish you knew.

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